The Outcast
The crepuscular glow of the dimming light rose over the town one last time before fading into eternal darkness. When I was growing up, warm summer evenings were always my favorite. Papa would take me into the backyard and kick the soccer ball around while Mama whipped up some pulled pork buns. “Dinner won’t stay hot forever!” she always shouted from inside to let us know it was dinner time. We’d giggle on the way in and say a prayer before stuffing our faces. The simplicity of growing up was truly beautiful. No thought, belief, or action was ever shameful. Not until I grew up.
Mondays and Wednesdays were the most enjoyable days at school. On each of these mornings at exactly 9:25 AM my favorite teacher began taking roll always starting with my name, Sophie. Mrs. Allen, the only AP science teacher in the town, taught AP biology, AP chemistry, and AP environmental Science. Her lessons were always the most thrilling: full of complex ideas, ideas unrelated to the bible. Unfortunately, there were so few students that took her classes that they were going to cut back on the sciences offered. This was no surprise however, the majority of the town did not want their children's heads being filled with nonsense.
On Monday at 9:25 AM I sat down, unaware of what was to come. Today marked the start of a new lesson named Evolution. The concept was fascinating. To summarize my findings, the rise of life on our planet was not due to God, it was due to evolution. I thought, why have I never heard of this before. Growing up there was only one answer to how we got here, and now I found out there are more. That day after school the question ripped out of my throat as I got in the car with my papa, “Have you ever heard of evolution?”
“Now who taught you that silly word, darlin’?”
“Papa, it isn't silly. It’s about life!”
“But it isn’t true”
“You don’t know that for sure.”
After that he got very quiet and remained that way all the way home. I didn’t mean to upset him but I could tell this was my fault. The rest of the evening I did my regular routine. First I studied the most complex subjects I didn’t have a grip on yet, then, I plowed through the easy assignments. Not once did anyone come to pitch an idea or bother me with their monotone voice. Rewarding myself, I took a long refreshing shower before settling onto the couch to watch a show.
That night Mama made mashed potatoes and steak for dinner. Not much was said at the dinner table but the tension from earlier was no longer in the air. I almost didn’t hear my mother say, “How was school today?” I was so lost in thought.
“It was fine. Nothing super special.” I lied. I did not want to upset her either.
“Your father told me you learned some exciting topics in science class.”
“Yes that’s right.”
“Don’t get those ideas confused with your faith, darlin’.”
The conversation felt over even though it wasn’t declared. She was more harsh in her response than usual. Nonetheless, the night carried on like normal.
Each day during lunch for the rest of the week, I visited Mrs. Allen to discuss her in-depth knowledge of evolution. She taught me about mitochondrial soup, the development of eukaryotes and prokaryotes, and how water crosses the phospholipid bilayer. I immersed myself into a world I didn’t know existed. I also kept my extra visits a secret from my parents so we wouldn’t repeat what happened that Monday. On the weekend, new information was processing and circulating in my brain at a constant rate.
It was Sunday at 12:00 PM that one of my thoughts escaped and leapt out of my mouth. “What about evolution?” The words landed on Pastor Craig’s lap, and passed through the audience in one big wave. Cynical looks from every direction were pointed directly at me. Short, high pitched gasps were released from the women standing nearby. I no longer could tell if I was in the real world or having a nightmare. Then, as if I forgot about my own parents, my father snatched my wrist and began dragging me out of the building.
“You must stop filling your head with foolish ideas, Sophie. They are not welcome at our place of worship or in our home. If you remain in our family you will follow our faith.” His outburst was frightening.
All I could manage to say was “I’m sorry” before turning my back and wandering off away from the church. I wanted to tell him he was wrong, that I can admire the studies of life as well as practice and value our religion. As I found my way home that day I planned a speech that would explain my actions as well as my beliefs.
It was the first night I had not had a home. Was there any safe place for me to sleep? I knew our church was always unlocked for anyone who needed a warm place to stay at night. I curled up on a pew and thought about how I needed to fix my mess.
Monday morning rolled around again, however I was certainly not in any mood for science. Word had gotten out about my exile at the church, and the whole school was talking about it. As I walked into Mrs. Allens room she greeted me with her warm smile and kind eyes. It was the biggest relief I’ve felt in 24 hours. “Sophie, darlin,’ how are you doing?” her voice sounded so warm and welcoming. I could not resist.
“I’m alright. I need a place to stay for a few days, but I have a plan to get back into everyone's good graces.” It felt a little weird, openly asking her to stay at her home, but it was my only option.
“Why don’t you stay with me until you are allowed back home?”
“That would be beyond wonderful, Thank you so much.”
I had to wait until Sunday, church, to make my amends. Thankfully the week seemed to fly by too quickly making me feel rushed when it was the Saturday night before. I prepared my speech, explaining that my studies will not persuade my beliefs. While evolution provides a different perspective, an idea that is the antithesis of the bible, I will still believe in the faith that raised me. Mrs. Allen helped me. She proofread, added more sophisticated words, and placed punctuation to add depth. It was perfect.
I barged in at 12:01 making the largest scene I possibly could. Without making direct eye contact with any eye that was looking at me, I made my way to the front of the nave. I was determined to state my claim. “Hello. My name is Sophie.”
The speech went wonderfully. When I found the courage to look at my parents they did not look disappointed, but proud. I was so worried nobody would understand the way I believe in both. It turns out the entire church supported my thinking. Hot tears streamed down my face in relief that I did not mess up my family. I scanned the room looking over all the familiar faces. Then I spotted the one in particular that I was looking for. Mrs. Allen stood with the brightest smile on her face. She looked like my parents, proud.
We returned home from the church after a very chipper amendment. My mama started making pork buns for dinner since she knew that was my favorite. My dad grabbed the ball and asked if I wanted to go kick it around for a bit like good old times. What a familiar feeling this activity was, as a totally different person.